Of nerves and singing

I used to be not big on the whole "get on a stage" thing.
Public speaking? It gave me (and sometimes still gives me) the jitters.

In my thinking, stages were things to be of which to be frightened (just a healthy fear, you know)

If it's a character I'm portraying in a play or skit, let me at it! I love acting on stages. If I'm supposed to be a goofball? I'm sooo good at that.

But if it's me, no facade, up on a stage, I used to have a hard time.
Whenever I do get the chance to be on a stage as myself...well...I'm just not a fan. I'd get jittery and shaky. My hands got cold and my face gets warm.
Usually the chances I've had to be onstage as myself have been in the capacity of singing.

Which so happens to be another thing I'm not very confident in.

How do I go through with it?
The secret is faith.
When I'm relying on God, I find that I actually don't mind it (the singing and the being on stage).

God says he's with me, always, even when I feel like I'm on display for all the world to see. (ESPECIALLY then.)

I find that I can chillax in the realization that it's all for His glory.
No stress in that!
I'm not up there for me. I'm not up there to be judged.
I'm up there because I want to worship God.
When I finally get that fact into my noggin, most of the nerves vanish. I'm all right.
It's pretty much awesome how it works.

The same thing has happened before. At camp last summer, I was asked to lead the worship music.  I agreed, because I had done it before, and I really do like that sort of thing, but it still wigged me out. I was supposed to go up there by myself and lead worship. Before it had been a group.
Oh boy.

I'm not a confident singer when I feel self-conscious.

After a load of prayer and practice, the camp week came.
Then it was time for the opening evening service.
Oh boy.
I got on stage.
I talked to the campers, we had announcements.
We sang songs of worship to God together.
And that was all.
It was that simple.

It was an awesome feeling. Not because I was on a stage, not because I wasn't messing up (oh man, there were some flubs) but because, we were all praising God.

I wasn't thinking about me.


That experience totally built my faith up. If I had been up there in my own ability, I would have been a wreck. But when I trusted that it would be ok because it was for God, it went fantastically smooth.

Sounds a little hokey, but seriously, getting that privilege to lead worship was awesome. It seems like God takes the things that one feels insufficient in, and uses them.
Just so I can't say, "look, I'm really great! I have so much talent, right?"

Rather so I can say, "WOW, look at what God can do if you just trust and rely on him to carry you!"

God has given me God-confidence, and now (so long as I'm keeping it real and not letting my ego explode) I'm not so very frightened of the stage.

And that's all I have to say about that right now.