Silence

I have too much to say.
It all wants to come out at once, but, because of the prolific amount of thoughts I have, the inverse has happened.

I am silent.
I am silent because there is too much.
Too much to say and too much to be done.

As always, God is good, and I need to remember that He is totally in control, no matter how crazy my life may feel.

Here are some pictures of the fantastic spur-of-the-moment vacation/road trip I had with a sweet friend.

I need a pet egret. Aren't they cute?

absorbing the beauty

Dunes

The storm creeps up on the unsuspecting condos...

Vacations are such fantastic things.
It's like you get a chance to push every problem away to being a blip on the horizon of thought.
It's a form of denial, I know.
Blissful denial.

Vacations make your worries teeny-tiny, like these people

When on vacation, you simply revel in the lists of fun things to do as opposed to the stressful adult things that must be done. Because, oh man, I know I'm getting ready to plunge into some stress.

 I remember, while sitting on the sandy shores as a warm breeze blew and the waves crashed, thinking, "At this moment, I have nothing to stress out over, nothing to work on at the moment. I am free to just be and relax."

...of course, after a few days, just being gets old, and one begins to long to feel needed again; to rush back into the race of life and be productive.

I know that in my walk with God, I'm called to not worry (that is one of the hardest commandments ever) I'm called to serve and shine. I should always have the feeling that I can just be in God's presence.

While we were out, I got sun. A lot of sun. I was so freckled. So so freckled. My hair turned even more copper.

Oh, and then there was the sound.
It had soft squishable black sand.

In a moment of genius, I suggested that we put some on out faces.
Shockingly, my friend agreed.

As I slathered my face with the mud, I realized it was one of the most daring things I felt I had done in a long while.

Even more daring than climbing 20 feet up into a tree.
Even more daring than driving a manual car in rush hour traffic.
Even more daring than dancing in a thunderstorm.
Even more daring, than, well, you get the point...

The masque actually worked!

We biked all over. I had forgotten how much I love biking.

We talked about all sorts of things, but then there were times when my friend and I were silent. It wasn't an angry silence, or an awkward silence, it was a contemplative silence.

Sometimes, there are no words, especially when you're in such a pretty place as the beach.

rambling on and on

In an attempt to expound upon the last few precious days of summer, I am going to the beach.
It's going to be great.
I feel so blessed to get this va-cay!
I might have a funny story or two from this. We shall see.

Also, I've figured out that one of my main love languages is words of affirmation. When people say nice things, it completely boosts my morale.

...it's taking me a long time to figure out my "love languages". I think that right now, as I'm discovering who I am (that sounds so cliché, but it's true) I have been able to see myself in perspective, more subjectively (well, as subjective as I can be when it comes to myself.) It's interesting, and I'm discovering the largest room in the world.
room for improvement, heh

Do you know what discourages me a LOT?

Let me preface this by saying that I am a perfectionist in many ways, and when I go for something, I give it my best. Like, I'm an all or nothing kind of girl. I'm also critical, and always looking for ways to make things better.

Since I am words-oriented, I'm sensitive to criticism.
You don't have to tell me something is wrong more than once.
If there is something I'm not doing right, just mention it, and (if you're right in what you're saying) I'll do a 180 turn around. I'm eager to improve.

When I have been working hard at something, general statements like, "Be the best you can be! Give it your all!", said in a way that is insinuating that I'm not being the best I can be (when I feel like I'm already giving 190% [bad math, I know])
...there is almost nothing worse. I know that it's meant to encourage, but it just isn't translated that way to me.

When I am actually slacking off, it's great to have someone remind me to work hard.

I don't mind constructive commentary; if you can point out a specific area to improve upon, I'm good.

When people come alongside me and appreciate what I'm doing, it spurs me on to work even harder.
I don't totally get the psychology of it, since intuitively, you think it would do the opposite and give me a pass to slack off...humans are so confusing.

It's true that you totally get more flies with honey than vinegar. (Flies, in this case, being a good thing)

I know that people do better with encouragement, so if/when I'm in a leadership position, I'm going to remember this fact.


Pardon the ramblings about me and myself and psychology.
How dull.
I just felt like ranting a bit.
Next post will be awesome.

What say you? How do you feel about encouragement/discouragement? What's the best way someone could encourage you?