Something I must Clarify

I have been told that I sound like an extrovert on my blog, that I am just giving way too much information. This may be true, but...
There is a lot I am not saying.  Yes, yes, you can thank me later.

I know what you're thinking, wow, this girl can talk!
...Or maybe you're not thinking that. I don't claim to really read minds.
There's a lot I don't say, just because.

One thing I haven't broadcasted on here is the fact that I'm deciding to apply to university as opposed to going to junior college (in what seems like a spur-of-the-moment decision)
In fact, I have been mulling this over for over a year.

I just haven't felt like talking about it.

Last year, I so wasn't ready for college.  The thought of it freaked me out.
Don't ask me why, but I just felt like I had some major growing up to do first.

I guess I'm a late bloomer.
I was like this with driving. I wanted time to feel like I could handle it.
Can you say, humiliation? 
Last year, the thought of going to campus, taking classes, and fending for myself, just seemed like too much.
Why am I telling you guys this?

Maybe someone out there is a late bloomer too. If so, I totally understand. I've got your back.

I've been praying hard about my future.
I have been feeling ill-at-ease where I am in life. 
Finally, I felt confirmation to go ahead and take a step of faith.
A small step indeed, but a step, nonetheless.
I've decided to just go ahead and see what happens when I put in my application. I have peace about it all though. I know that no matter what happens, God is ultimately in control, and I am surrendered to Him.

Also, this spring semester, I want to find a mission field and plug in! So if you know of anywhere that could use an able-bodied helper, let me know.
Also, if you think of it, pray for me.
Please.

All I want is everything.

Here we go. Seven wants. Are you ready for this? You'd better be, because I am off-schedule with the ten day challenge. So sorry.

1. I want to be a girl after God's heart. Being a light, no matter where I go. Being a person who holds to her conviction and shows Jesus-love to everyone. Basically, a sold-out girl for God.
2. I want to develop my hobbies into skills. I am terrible about picking something up, getting intensely interested in it, and then forgetting/not having time to continue. Case and point, youtube videos, photography, drama, music...and *cough*blogging*cough* I love all of these things, I just don't have the time to work on them until I become pro. 
3. I want to do the crazy stuff. What I mean by this is, no regrets. I want to live, and because this life is so (relatively) short, I want to be bold and keep an eternal perspective. 
4. I want to cultivate relationships and be a better friend. In this 24/7, connectivity-crazed world, you'd think it would be easy to stay-in-touch/develop friendships. But, in my experience, people are so busy, we never get to talk about deep things that actually matter. I want to know my friends, not just what their witty tweet says. 
5. Okay, since this is all about wants and not needs, I'll do the obvious one: I want to travel. I don't really know of many people who don't want to travel the world, I am not in that category. I want to see the beauty of God's creation and capture it on film. 
6. Here are the insane want wants: to speak every language, master every accent, write a book, save the world from gluttony and starvation, put out a cd and tour the country, take pictures for national geographic, run a marathon, and lose these horrible allergies.
7. This one seems counter-to-the-point, but, I want to know what I want. I am pretty much indecisive when it comes to making up my mind. Brian Regan does a bit about donuts, and how crazy people are when they order them, changing their minds and going bezerk. When I have to make a decision, I'm almost like that, but not quite that insane: 

Tell me what you want, what you really really want...

I wanna, I wanna...I really really really wanna...

Enough of the spice girls.

I have many wants. Too many.
I shall narrow them down to just 7 and get back to you shortly.
In case you forgot (it has been almost a whole week), I'm doing the 10 day you challenge:

Oh, and here's an update as to what's going on with me:
After I go compete in a math contest, sell makeup, and complete a few mountains of homework, I'll get back to you. Maybe.
I'm bemused as to why I agreed to this math contest. As you might know, I don't like math unless it's science-based math (and not physics)
I may have just completely gone off my rocker (and become über-nerdy)
*shrug*
I am also forgetting to eat as of late.

I do not have an eating disorder (...that's what they all say, I know)
I just so happen to be absent-minded about such things.

You'd think my stomach would be better at reminding me.

My stomach is totally slacking off on the job.

Also, I was reminded of just how faithful God is to me and that He does have a plan.
I've been struggling lately with feeling like I have purpose.
I've been feeling, well, apathetic about life in general. God is seriously good. The other day, He reminded me that I am called to serve and to follow. He gave me a wake-up call. ...maybe I'll blog about it later, after this math-ese.

FINALLY...eight fears

I am fearless, or so I've been told.
When it comes to dare-devil stunts, I'm all for it.
I like adrenaline rushes.
I may scream, but I do love it. 
Jumping off of things? Yes.
Climbing up high on things? Yes.
Trying new things? Yes. 
I have numerous stories concerning my love of being daring. I also have the physical evidence.

I am also one of those girls who does NOT scream at the sight of bugs and snakes.

What do I fear?
Nothing.


(A boldfaced lie, I assure you)

I don't really want to share my fears. Once they're written out, I think that they'll just be silly and dumb. Ok, there we go: I'm afraid of exposing my weaknesses to the world. 

My fears are more emotionally based. I guess that's normal, since I am a girl.
These fears are stupid, I admit, and not terribly serious, but we are getting them out of the way so we can move on to the fun stuff. 

1. I'm afraid of things that are purely malicious. The reason I'm not afraid of bugs and snakes is because they aren't inherently malicious. They have their own agenda, and they're just trying to do their own thing. They only hurt you if you threaten them. Really: At camp this summer there was a proliferation of honey bees/wasps. I taught my campers that if you were calm, the bees were calm. I let bees and wasps crawl on my hand, and I've never been stung. Now if these things are after me for no reason, then I might just flip out. Also, in that vein, I'm a bit afraid of people who dislike me for no apparent reason. 
2. I'm afraid of losing my health. Now, by this, I don't mean getting sick or coming down with a disease that I can't prevent, but I mean being unhealthy and fat and totally being able to help it. American gluttony just grosses me out! This is a superficial fear, I know, but it's one that has given me nightmares. Just look at peopleofwalmart.com, you'll see what I mean.
3.  I'm scared of the future. Yes, I know that God holds the future, and that He does work everything for my good, but here's the deal: I'm afraid of being outside of His will and screwing up big time. i.e., turning someone away from Him. That is probably fear #1.
4. I guess I should admit that (like every other single girl) I'm scared of finding "the one". How will I know? What if I'm mistaken? what if there isn't a "one", but I have to choose? I have this recurring nightmare in which I end up with this terrible guy (and I have no choice, ahh!)...or I dream that I never get married. Both scenarios make me sad.  And I do have to say, this is a silly fear.  I am still young, and God is totally in control and His timing is perfect. But still, I think I would hate to be wed to a out-of-shape guy named Bubba who doesn't relate to me on any level. (and just watch, this fear will come true)
5. I fear incompetence. As you may well know, I'm a perfectionist in my own right. I want to be good enough to do anything I set my mind to do. I don't like talking myself up, because I know that there is always someone better at what I'm doing.
6. I fear harming others, emotionally or physically. Even when it comes to animals; I'm loathe to squish a bug. Now if it's self-defense, I can totally do some damage. Watch out, mosquitoes!
7. I fear the unknown. Suspense makes me jump like you wouldn't believe. Just wait, one of these days I'll just have a heart attack from shock.
8. Andd finally, I fear not making the most of every opportunity, not obeying God's calling, and ignoring the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Now THAT is my biggest fear.

There. I'm done.

Today was an amazing day. Today was a day that I don't want to forget for a long time.
After a calculus class that actually made sense, my mom and I went to get her friend to go to the state fair to work our church's booth.
After working the booth for a bit, I was able to run into a friend and walk around the fair.
Sooo fun!
I love having friends. And awesome parents.
We walked around the fair for a few hours, and then it was time for the Skillet concert.

Skillet is heavy metal, ok?
I do not come off as a heavy rock lover.
AT ALL.

I even didn't think I was such a fan of screaming music, but I absolutely LOVED IT.
Amazing concert.
Simply amazing. I loooove concerts, I really do.

The concert also made up my decision for my career path: famous musician.

It's happening.
I can't sleep though. I got wayy too pumped up at the concert.

Hello, insomnia.

Bumper-kiss

Yes, yes, I willlll finish that ten-day challenge.
Soon.
But I have better news.
I was in an "accident" today.
I didn't die, of course.

I just felt terrible about it.

Also, don't worry, no one else died.
Here's the sitch:
I'm riding in the car with my sisters, running errands.
A car in front of me decides to stop in the middle of the road.
I put on my brakes as fast as possible, but just as I was almost to a total stop, a foot from his car, my car decided to roll forward and touch his bumper.
There wasn't even a backlash from the bump.
There was no sickening crunching sound either.
I felt relief. 

Then the man pulled forward, hazards on, and got out of his car.
I couldn't see any damage.
I turned on my hazards and got out.

He pointed to a dent in his bumper, and it was indeed a dent from me.


After lots of pondering what to do next, we finally worked everything out. I'll spare you the details. I was amply freaked out. There was lots of phone calling, and the man told me at least five times that he "worked for the city", though he didn't mention his position...for all I know it could have been, "sanitation worker".

I can't tell you how shook up I felt after the ordeal.
I had dinged this guy's car, not a huge deal, I know, but, still.

It's not like I had killed someone, or robbed a store, or eaten poison mushrooms.
This experience rocked my world, because it was something totally foreign to me.
The whole thing was surreal. I felt like I left my body, and that I was just watching myself. Weeeird, right?

I felt like crying afterwards, but I didn't, because that would just be pointless.
Some occasions warrant tears, this one did not.

Looking back on it, it was actually a somewhat comical affair. Perhaps the full account, with all of its glorious silly details will be posted someday.

I think the exchange between me and the guy could potentially be humorous, once a nice cushion of time has passed.

The details of the exchange between the guy and me will not be shared at this time.

I did feel emotionally extra-sensitive post-bumper-hit, which is a laaame side-effect. If there is one thing I do not need, it's added sensitivity to my surroundings/interactions with others. I think, if someone had said something mean to me, or even just looked at me funny, I would have had a meltdown.

I'm pllllleennnty sensitive.
It's not my favorite aspect of my personality. I'm working on getting a tougher skin, really.

I also felt like going into my introvert-shell for a while.
Which wasn't the greatest thing since I was volunteering today at a conference at my church. I mean, there's about 220-some-odd people attending, and as one of the volunteers, it's kind of important to be outgoing and talkative.

What a day.
I would say more, but I'm about to pass out from the craziness of the events of the day.  Maybe I'll tell you about the endless desserts next time. Or maybe I'll not be so lazy, and I'll finish the 10 day thing. We shall see.

Peace.

Creeped out? Again? It happens.

Tonight, I was creeped out.
Do you want to know why? Read on. It's humorous, in its own special special way. (I love how special can mean so many things...)

So today, after work, I decided to make a run to the store.
I know I've ranted before about how much I hate wal-mart.
I have taken vows to never shop there.
Buuut, well, I'm not super-rich.
Walmart has pretty much the cheapest stuff, and usually it's okay quality.
When I am rich, I will be a snob and only shop at such "upscale" places like Target (pronounced of course in the french, tar-zhay.) In the meantime, I will shop at Wallie world or, as it is so lovingly called by many a southerner, "wal-mark"
So, I'm at wal-mart, remembering about a million things I wanted to buy. Since I have such terrible allergies to dust mites, I decided it was time to invest in a personal air purifier.
I'm glad I was at wal-mart and not an air purifier store. Wal-mart gave me about four viable options, and out of the four, only two were worth considering as candidates.
You have no idea how I read the boxes.
I debated and debated.
I could not settle on a flippin' air purifier. I'm sure anyone watching me would have thought I was insane.
One box proudly stated "Elegido por los Doctores!". After flipping the box to the other side, I read "The Doctor's choice!"
How could I not go with the doctor's choice?
But then, the other box assured me, "Eliminates up to 99.97% of air-borne allergens"
The first box? "Eliminates up to 99% of air-bore allergens"
Both boxes showed pictures of the nastiness that naturally thrives in the average household's air. The first box had more pictures, and the replacement HEPA filters weren't as expensive as the second purifier. Plus, how can you argue with what doctors pick?
I mean, really now.

It was a tough call.
I bet you didn't know that I was so terrible at making up my mind, now did you? That's kind of a secret, so we will tie that into the ten day challenge.
Secret #11, you guys! I'm bad at committing to a choice.

Oh, so I was creeped out. The point... right.
So I continued my trek through walmark, and kept finding things I couldn't live without.
THE LION KING IS ON DVD!!!!! I needed that, of course.
Oh-my-goodness-I-love-that-movie...but I did not buy it. I'm trying not to be too frivolous here.
But I wanted it.
Really badly.
Really. Badly.
Then I was distracted by none other than Finding Nemo and Toy Story. It's sad, but both of those movies were stolen a few years ago when my house was robbed.

Lucky robbers.

End of sob story.
Just know, I really want to reown the Lion King. I had it on VHS, but the tape finally gave
out.
I grew up watching that movie over and over and over and over. At least a few times a week. I haven't seen it in years and years, but I'm pretty sure I could still quote it.
When I was 4, I even got the Lion King bed sheets. I still have them. Now that is infatuation.
End of bunny trail.

I saw many a wonder in walmark. I guess I don't go there enough. I found some things on clearance. ...things that I will use next year at camp! Excitement. 
I felt almost like an adult, planning that far ahead.

I could go off on another tangent about camp and what I do to prepare, but that is totally another post.

This post is about being creeped out. Right.
I found plenty of things that I couldn't do without, and finally reached the checkout.
The bill was insane, but I was prepared for it.
THEN, I finally departed walmart. 

Outside. Fresh air. Finally.
The sun had set, and the parking lot lights were on. It was dark, and I hurried to my car.
My stuff was unloaded in the trunk. I saw a car parked next to mine. I walked around to my driver's side door when, I heard a quiet voice.
"M'am?"
I ignored the voice.
"M'am, excuse me?", it was a man's voice, and it was coming from the car next to mine. I fumbled to unlock my door. I still ignored the voice. He tried one more time.
"Miss? Can you help?"
I finally looked over at him. He was a scruffy-looking guy, nondescript features. He was driving an unremarkable white car, complete with Ed Hardy seatcovers. He was definitely giving off a creeper vibe.

"Hey there, I'm in a quandary. Could you come over here? I'm trying to get to ---"  (he said the name of a town about 40 minutes from my current location)
Why was this guy asking me for directions?
Was he going to lure me over to his car and kidnap me?
When I'm alone, I'm on the paranoid side of things. I still was fumbling with my keys. I stayed by my door, not willing to walk over to his rolled-down window. I was ready to scream if the occasion warranted it.
I finally spoke. "Uhmmm, well, if you get on the --- highway headed west, you should be able to get there fairly easily." Finally, my door unlocked. I opened it.
"But, you see, I've just run out of gas..." he began to explain.
Now, I was semi-freaking out. What was this guy going to do? Was he going to ask me for a ride? Force his way into my car?
"...so if you had a few bucks, I'd appreciate it.", he finished.
I had no money. I had just spent it at that blight that is walmart.
"Can you help me out at all?", he asked.
I was truthful when I told him that I couldn't help him out. I told him that there were helpful employees in Walmart. I mean, they have a helpdesk, hello! I think I might have wished him a good night.
I shut my door and locked it.
All of a sudden I was shaking.
I started up my car.
What if that guy was lying about his gas?
What if he decided to follow me?
I say this only because after I pulled out of my space, he backed out of his.


This is what happens when one watches too much X-Files. That show is bringing the paranoia out in me.

I got home without a hitch.

All is well. No stalkers...

killer colds

I think it's becoming a trend that I interrupt myself frequently. The ten day challenge will be back, I promise.

But, this cold/allergy is killer, you guys, killer. (not literally...I hope.)
As I've fallen victim to this virus, I've turned to medicine to help ease my sneeze.
Because when your eyes water and burn, you CANNOT physically stop sneezing/coughing, you're excessively tired, and, to top it off, you've got a headache, there isn't much else to be done.
So, I turned to some daytime tylenol cold/allergy.
Symptoms eased, right?
Weellll, I tell you what, I took a "normal person dose", and it had some funky side effects.
According to the label, you're supposed to take a dose every four hours, but I took one dose, and it worked out great for at least eight hours.
It did, however make me feel retarded. (I mean that in a politically correct way, of course. *wink*)
I felt like I had some severe mental thinking problems.
About thirty minutes after taking my dose, I decided that, with my cold and all, it would be a great idea to go on a walk to get some fresh air.
A nice, four mile walk.
That was one of the weirdest exercise experiences of my life.
At first, I was fine, though a little bit slower than I usually am. After walking for ten minutes, I was pretty sure I was going to fall asleep on someone's front lawn.
I felt like I was drifting, like I wasn't really in my body.
I felt like my iq dropped by a good 100 points.
So, when I reached the halfway point, I thought it would be wise to jog and get some blood flowing.
ha.
NOW THAT was the lamest running I've ever done. I was glad there was no one around.
After galumping, and finding that my body was not really listening to me, I just eased back into a walk and prayed that I would make it home before I passed out.

So, if that wasn't enough, I decided to take some ny-quil last night. It was a good 12 hours after I had taken my tylenol, so I knew that the drugs wouldn't interact badly.
Ny-quil is one of those medicines you both love and hate. I loved it, because it enabled me to sleep oh-so-soundly for ages. It dried up my cough and relieved my symptoms.

Well, this morning, I awoke with a feeling like no other. I was in a conscious dream-state. Whatever is in that ny-quil, it makes for some weird dreams. It turned me into a vegetable. I thought I had gotten up and performed a few of my routine morning tasks, but I found myself still sleeping in my bed. 

I cannot wait for this cold to leave.

Also, I don't really like cleaning up public restrooms. I'm not sure who does. The person who does like such things probably has a very good job market.
It's pretty much the grossest job ever.
If you think about what it is you're cleaning up...
I did it for a few weeks at camp, and...well, it was one of my least favorite things.
I guess someone has to do it.
Anyways, it just makes me super-thankful for janitors. We had a...situation at work in the store's bathroom. Of such things, nightmares are made.

nine loves.

I'm losing sight of the point of the Ten-Day-Challenge. It's going to take more than ten days, but I was never one for following the rules, especially rules that make no sense.
I can go at my own pace, thank you.
What, is it like there are Ten Day You Challenge police?
Doubtful.
And, I know that thus far, my lists are not very organized or efficient.
If this bothers you, remember, c'est la vie (best phrase for everything).

Now, to give you a refresher of the challenge, I posted the picture.
I am now on nine loves.
I have more than nine loves. This is a dilemma.
So, I think you know that I love my family muchly, I love my amazing friends, and you know that above all, I love God. Those will not appear on the list, because they are a given. If you did not know that these were a given, shame on you.

I will try to make this list more readable.

Without further ado, nine loves:

1. Warmth, particularly summer. If summer is not around, I insist upon warm, cozy jackets, scarves, sweaters and anything that will keep me from freezing to death. (...no, I will not get fat just to stay warm) I'm similar to a frog who requires much moisture to thrive. I'm a baby about cold weather. I would like to live in perpetual summer. 
2. Foods that go with the season. I would say one particular food, but as we're transitioning from summer to winter, my favorite foods are changing. I will always love my mom's cooking, though. She can whip some good stuff up fast! The other day, she made onion soup in about 20 minutes. She made it from scratch, and it was the best stuff. It smelled heavenly. Heaven should have a roasted garlic and sauteed onions area.
3. Going on adventures. An adventure can be just about anything. If there's a mundane task I don't want to do, I tell myself that it'll be an adventure, and that I should look for some sort of humor/happiness in said task. I also like games that are made up on the spot to make lame things more fun. It also makes me feel like a winner, and I love winning. (Hey, this was a twofer! I win.)
4. Earrings. I have a massive collection of earrings. They're my favorite jewelry, and they dress up any outfit.
5. Laughing. Who doesn't love laughing? I usually laugh at situational irony/"smart people humor". But I laugh at things that my sisters just deem as "way nerdy". Dry humor is the best. When I meet someone who has dry, satirical wit, I'm pretty sure that we're kindred spirits.  John Cleese and I? We're tight. (you should watch "How to Irritate People")
6. Animals that don't make me sneeze. I'm allergic to dogs and cats and pretty much anything with fur. It makes me sad, because I love animals. Every so often, I'll meet a dog that doesn't give me hives, but it's a rare, rare, rare occurrence. This is why I have a snake. 
7. Small-town folk. People from small towns are usually the friendliest people ever. 
8. Shopping, but not in the normal way. I shop for Deals, and I have found many a good deal. Thrifting is awesome and an adventure, so I love it doubly. 
9. annnnnd the last love, (but not the final love, because I could go on listing and listing..but the final love for this post) I love my readers/followers. Yes, you. You, one of the fabulous people who read my posts, are awesome. I applaud you for sticking around.

Secrets finished up!

So as I attempt to list ten secrets about myself (who knew it would be so hard?), I have come down to 1&2. Finallllly, right?

Also, the past few days, I have been fighting off a cold. Right now, the cold is winning. The past few days, as I was warding said virus off, I was typing. I am having a hard time forming coherent thought, and for some reason, my fnigres want to hit teh rwnog keys. (you see what I did there?)

Secret #2: I am reserved.
This isn't a secret so much, but the fact that I often wish that my personality was different, is kind of a secret.
I wish I was that person who is/was the life of the party. I sometimes wish that when I speak, that every word from my mouth would be a gem of wit, both charming and hilarious to everyone. 
My bent is to be more of the fringe: friends with a vast majority, but not the center of any one group.
It takes me a while to warm up to people. I've been told that I'm hard to get to know. I wish I could be one of the sort that you feel like you've known forever (though you've just met)
If we ARE friends though, we are friends. Forever. Pretty much.

Along with that, secret #1...
drumroll, please...
 I don't believe in cliques. 
Actually, I hate cliques. I know they exist, but they make me sad.

I have been around them, and they are total fun-suckers. The people in them act all happy, but in that, they blind themselves to everyone else, especially the newcomers.
Seriously. I know I sound like an anti-social dork, but cliques are one thing that I would abolish if I could.
You may have no idea what a clique can do to an excluded person's self-esteem.
I like to think that I transcend cliques, but who knows? 

Whew, as hard as it is for me to articulate my thoughts while not on cold medicine, I'm surprised that you've read this far while I am on this drug that dulls the coughing.
Kudos for you. Virtual (germ-free!) hi-five!

more secrets....shhhhhh

This is something I don't like to confess:
(but, it's a secret, so it must be confessed)
#8: I hate admitting that I'm flawed.
I really want to be perceived as competent, and I don't like to admit that I'm weak or that I can't handle something. I've always been the type to say, "I've got this", when I'm really failing horribly.

Another secret: #7: I hate saying I can't do something; I take other people's problems and make them my own. When I'm asked if I could possibly help out with something, I'm usually like, "YES, yes yes!! I will help you, even if I already have a bajillion other things going on. I will make it happen." 

Then I stress out, and fall into a freak-out cycle from seeing the multiplicity of things I have agreed to do.
So, with that, on the positive side of things, I am a go-getter. It's weird how I'm an all or nothing person.

#6: I see the world in black and white. 
 I fail to see gray areas.
Fundamental? I guess you could call it that.
But, I love love and sharing and equality and togetherness.
I'm a hippie at heart. I think socialism is a fantastic ideal, if only we lived in a perfect world. But we don't live in a perfect world. Our world is greedy, so therefore, socialism/communism doesn't work out so very well.
  
#5: I like to speak in funny accents and develop characters.
I also profile people. Profiling people/guessing their back-story/rationalizing their actions is fun to me.So if I'm looking at you funny, don't feel weird-ed out.

#4: When I was younger, I planned on being an actress.
I dunno if that was delusional of me, but I really wanted to act.
I took acting lessons, I played in plays, I LOVED IT.
Maybe someday, I'll relive the magic of that experience. The feeling of making a character real to people is an amazing feeling.


#3: I can't remember not being able to read. 
I can remember being two, spelling words, and writing my name. I can remember seeing some long words and knowing that somehow, someday, I would learn their meanings. I remember picking up a chapter book (The Chronicles of Narnia) and flipping through it (at age 3) and wishing I could decipher all of the words and get the meaning. I could pick out a few of the words. I can't recall a time when I had absolutely no concept of reading.

Two more secrets to go! yaay. This is turning into "serious confessions" or something...

secret#9

Ok, before I go to sleep, I thought of another secret: I have a beauty mark.
Lame secret, I know. 
It's actually as plain as the nose on my face, but since this is the interweb, and you may have never seen me in person, I thought I'd share.
I just have this funny little spot on on the outer edge of my lower lip,  in the direct center. It looks like I did it on purpose, like maybe I chewed a pen or just dotted my lip.

It might become a trend someday, just like the beauty mark on the cheek became the in style thing to do during Cindy Crawford's time (and Marie Antoinette's!).

Also, as a part of that secret, I'll divulge that I am usually unaware of what I look like. I often forget that I have lots of freckles.
I forget that I have unique hair.
I forget that I'm a little bit different from Jane Doe.
Which is not bad, and not good.

I just am what I am. 

When people are all, "THAT'S a LOT of freckles!", or, "check out that hair!", I feel slightly bemused.
I'm really used to my freckles; I don't even notice them.
My hair? Oh yeah, it is red!

and for those of you who might be envisioning me as Quasi-modo, know that I am not that different-looking.

ten secrets

Ten secrets?
Do they have to be about me? What constitutes a secret, anyways?
Google, can you help a sister out?

se·cret/ˈsēkrit/

Adjective: Not known or seen or not meant to be known or seen by others
Fine.
I said I would...but if it's not meant to be seen by others, then why share it? This logic confuses me. I am also having a hard time thinking of secrets. I will post them as  I think of them.

*drumroll*

Secret #10:  I hate smoky-flavored things.
Especially chipotle-flavored things. It's weird because I am not normally a picky eater, but nothing makes me feel like gagging more than smoked fish or smoked almonds or smoked peppers...

TEN SECRETS REVEALED!

Okayyy.
So.
I just realized that I have already written loads about myself.
It's a little silly/superfluous for me to do a ten-day challenge, especially since I think I share more than enough about myself on here.

Ten secrets.
Ohhhhh man, I don't know if I want to share these secrets...thinking about this is making me nervous.

You see, I just got the mental image of what blogging is.
Blogging is like standing on a  cliff and yelling.
You might secretly hope someone hears you, that maybe they like what they hear or are pleased at your voice.
Mostly you just yell because you like the echo, and it's rather theraputic to just yell things uninhibited. Don't believe me? Try it out sometime. ...don't you feel better?

So, I'm thinking about the secrets I want to divulge. What do I want to tell those faithful few who actually read my blog?
Hrmmmm.

I promise it will be secretive...aside from the fact that it is easily accessible via the world wide web...we'll ignore that fact.
This site is only accessible to random googlers and those who know my url. Annnd to anyone who likes me. If you do not like me, I ask that you politely leave. Why are you here, anyways?


Hold tight, the secrets may even be shocking, surprising, or funny.

But here's a secret
(I bet you didn't know!)
...you'll have to wait to find out... stay tuned my lovelies!
(what should I call my readers? Suggestions?)
EDIT: I am reaaaaally tired. I think you could call it punch-drunk. Not drunk-drunk. The quality of my posts reflect my mood. Right now, as I re-read what I've written, it's like random sound bytes.
I have lost all credibility.
I should possibly sleep.
I also think it's because I inhaled a LOT of acetone tonight.
I was cleaning up a nail polish spill at work.
It took about half a bottle of pure acetone to clean the mess up.
That stuff ate through my gloves!

I visited Don Pedro. He's my BFF and exclusively speaks to me in Spanish now. It's amazing the conversations one can have with rudimentary Spanish. I talked to his wife this evening. She's the sweetest lady!
My answer for everything is either, "muy bien!" or "si!"...I am glad that I am not an immigrant to a non-English-speaking country. I would be considered dumb by the masses. (Get it? The double meaning? Oh, I just need to sleep...)