recharged

I'm going to be real. It's not that I'm usually fake...but this isn't the easiest thing to admit.

Ok, this is just what happened to me, and I'm excited.

Honesty, here we go:

Sometimes, I don't really feel like having a quiet time with God. Sometimes, I feel like my life is just rolling along smoothly enough, and I'll forget that I need some time with God, since He's the one who has blessed me with so much. I buy into the lie that I'm smart enough to figure things out and that everything is "ok".

This is wrong thinking.

Today, I half-heartedly got out my journal and Bible, unsure of where to start my reading.
I flipped to Psalms, skimming through, until I hit Proverbs 2 and 3.
Then I was hit by the relevancy of the words. They were jumping (not literally) off of the page and screaming, "Hey!! OVER HERE!!". It was like reading a letter written to me.
It fit exactly what I've been thinking and worrying about lately.  It answered all my questions and worries.


I'm at a crossroads of sorts in my life. (I think everyone is always at a crossroads, in some form or another) This crossroad, however, has felt HUGE and burdensome. I need wisdom, I need discernment. I need to know what on earth I'm doing with myself. What if I fail at life? What if I've made/will make the wrong decisions?

I get constant daily reminders that I'm in a state of change.
"Where are you going to school?" "What are you planning on doing with your life?" "Have you got a job?" "Do you have a boyfriend?"

I've felt a bit...directionless. It's not a good feeling.
There are too many options for my future, ranging from becoming a hobo to getting a Ph.D to working at a school in Honduras.
So, I've been praying. I've prayed that God would just go ahead and show me where to go.


Today, He answered. Not specifically, but just in a way that reassured me --I am secure so long as I continue in/increase my dependence on Him.

Here are the directions I have been given for today. I think if it was God speaking directly to me, it would read something like this (a paraphrase of Proverbs 2-3):


     Accept My perfect words and store them up within you. If you do, you will understand. 


Turn your ear to wisdom, seek after understanding like it is a precious treasure worth having, and you will find the knowledge of Me. 


I alone give wisdom, I speak knowledge, I will be your victory, and I am your shield. If you follow Me, I will guard your way. 


If you follow My way, you will know what is right and you will be saved from a multitude of pitfalls; for My teachings give life. 


Keep love and faithfulness close to you, write them on your heart. As a result, you will gain favor and a good name. 


All of your trust must be placed in Me; acknowledge Me, don't lean on what you think best. I will direct your path. 
My wisdom is one of the most valuable things in the world, and it is free for the taking, if only you would ask!


My wisdom brings peace of mind, joy, and blessings beyond measure. 


After reading Proverbs 2-3 (I suggest that you do, it gives such hope!), I had joy bubble up, and I remembered the importance of my quiet time alone with God. It's no chore, and it recharges me utterly.

I've heard it said that we should plunge our failures into His grace. It's sooo true.
...
Also, I'm liking driving by myself. It gives me time to think and pray. The past few times I've driven, I've sung joyful songs, silly as that sounds. It's better than fumbling with the radio (bad idea for a new driver)...