What makes me a fuddy-duddy part 1: music

Sooo, I have a few qualities that make my younger sisters call me an old lady. I can't argue. 

Auto-tuned recyclation (new word!) of classics or songs with just a beat and boring lyrics about getting down/painting the town or going out all night/life's alright or whatever just do not cut it for me. Every line doesn't have to rhyme. 

Also, I dislike the fact that grammar goes out the window with these dance songs.

There is no such thing as logic in these songs. I guess the "songwriter" (if they can be called that) thinks that you'll be so into the tune that you won't notice the obvious flaws. 

In fact, I could write a pop song in about five minutes. 

Let's see. 

This is going to be fun. 

I present to you my song written in five minutes (with tips as to how to write a good song): 

CHORUS

I'm dancing on the floor  (state the obvious) 

Da-da-da-dancing on the floor (stuttering is an important trend) 

Don't you dare shut that door (mention irrelevant actions during your song) 

'cause we be dancing on the floor (note: and not on the ceiling) 

Some people they like to groove  (don't try to win any sort of accolades lyrically) 

Others like to move  (remember who you are singing to. These people might learn)

I prefer the shake and bake (Show your relevancy by mentioning dance moves)

So baby don't you take take take (repeat to add emphasis. Baby is an all important word to use) 

My music and my rhythm

from me.         (finally, throw in some non-rhyming words)

O-o-o-O-o-o

I'm dancing on the floor  

Da-da-da-dancing on the floor 

Don't you dare shut that door 

'cause we be dancing on the floor

This beat goes one-two-three (a math lesson in a song? You are going to get a grammy)

Simple as can be (not simpler than these lyrics)

Like the cha-cha-slide 

In you I will confide (I don't know how the cha-cha relates to confiding...)

that I be dancing on the floor. (Dancing on the floor is now a secret) 

I'm dancing on the floor  

Da-da-da-dancing on the floor 

Don't you dare shut that door 

'cause we be dancing on the floor 

When you move your feet

You better get lost in that beat

Your feet they can't get sore

when you be dancing on the floor. (Sound, sound logic)

I'm dancing on the floor  

Da-da-da-dancing on the floor 

Don't you dare shut that door 

'cause we be dancing on the floor  

REPEAT CHORUS 

REPEAT, REPEAT, REPEAT

**crazy beat ad infinitum**

As the beat finally slows: 

When you be dancing...on...the floor. (dramatic slow singing of the few main words of the song with lots of oooh's) 

NOTE: Rapping fits in there somewhere. 

Stuff you hear on the dance station doesn't usually showcase all of the above qualities.

I think I am going to be a lyricist.