Have I got this?

I've been wondering lately,
"Have I got this?"

Admittedly, I've been a little overwhelmed when it comes to the thought of travelling to Africa. I am confident that it's where I need to be, I have seen God confirming that that's the place, which is the coolest thing ever.

I have gotten amazing encouragement.

But I sometimes allow myself to get caught in the details that can bog down and worry. There are some extra expenses popping up. Eek.

This morning, I was craving a good quiet time with God.

I have this book, Jesus Calling, that serves as a great jump off point for daily devotions. I recommend it.
Some days, I don't know where to begin.
One of the passages it mentioned as a good reading spot today was John 14.

I read John 14 and I kept on reading through John 15.
What I read was perfectly applicable.

I so love how God's word is living!

In John 14, Jesus reminds the disciples of some basic truths I all too easily lose sight of. I hope you've read this chapter of the Bible. If not, you really should.

Reading that chapter was like a refocus.
Jesus is the way, truth, and life.

John 14:6 is an often quoted verse, and I feel like after a while, one becomes desensitized to the deep meaning of that verse and what it actually entails.

He is all that matters, He is my life source.

Going on to John 15 was a reiteration of the kind of life I have:

"I am the vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit He prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.

You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me." 

As I'm seeking to be more fruitful, I want things to happen and come together now now now.
I realized that maybe I'm the one pushing things and trying to make God's plan unfold faster; and that is the issue. He does all things in His perfect time, not impatient-impulsive-Kenzie-time.

Maybe God is pruning out some of the impatient selfishness I have, so I can bear even more fruit. Maybe there are some things I need to work on...well, okay, there ARE things I need to work on.

Today I was reminded that I am to be a branch off the vine.

A branch that gets all of the nutrients and ability from the vine.
I can't produce fruit like this on my own, nor do I want to.

The reminder of where I get my strength was perfect.
To be wholly dependent on the creator of the universe, the one who gives all things life and who made all things, is a really good feeling.

It relieves so much stress.
So, in answer to my question, "have I got this?"
The answer is nope.

I so don't got this.

He has got this. 

I just have to have Him.