Thursday, November 18, 2010

KUDOS (no spell check...)


{NOTE: this post is much better when read aloud...translation in THIS POST...}

Awkward situashuns.

I've had mah share. Th' key thin' t'do is play them off like it's no trimenjus deal, ah reckon. Make it seem as un-awkward as postible.
Eff'n yo' kin does thet, yer golden, as enny fool kin plainly see. Eff'n yo' kin does thet, less be friends.

Once, it was obvious thet someone was hintin' fo' a compliment fum me. ah was oblivious.
{ah's not fine wif hints. Ask mah mom, dawgone it.}
Then it hit me (d'oh! Fry mah hide!): this hyar varmint be hankerin' me t'tell them "fine job! Fry mah hide!"
So ah did, cuss it all t' tarnation.
ah meant it, but it didn't feel th' same as an unsolicited compliment. Th' unsolicited ones is th' BEST. ah love them feelin'-boosters. They make me smile...

Whut in tarnation does yo' does when yo' does not reckon sumpin is not a "job fine done" o' deservin' of compliment?
Answer: Nevah miss a fine oppo'tunity t'be quiet.

But, eff'n th' varmint seems desperate fo' kudos, yo' kin allus find sumpinto sinsyarly compliment o' incourage (ah's all fo' incouragin' an' buildin' up others), even eff'n it does feel a tad awkward, cuss it all t' tarnation. This hyar is whar tack comes in han'y. 

{tact: considerashun in dealin' wif others an' avoidin' givin' offense -princeton website)

It takes some prackice t'git tack t'wawk fo' yo'. But once yo' git it, it is a mighty useful tool, ah reckon.

A wo'd of advice: when yo' does give a compliment, please do be sinsyar.
Fake compliments is dreadful fo' menny reasons

ah have experience. Trest me.

When someone gives me an insinsyar "great job! Fry mah hide!" (it's easy t'tell, at least in varmint) it makes me feel even wo'se than eff'n they were simply honest.

ah doesn't be hankerin' thet kind of pity.

False compliments kin backfire on th' givah. It's a messy business, let me tell yo'.
Fo' example:

This hyar is jest an example pitcher...
{an' free advahtisin'}
 Eff'n someone makes a chipotle blue cheese an' green pepper dip
(ah despise blue cheese, green pepper, an' chipotle flavo'ed thin's)
an' they is so kind as t'share some wif me, ah sh'd not EVER tell them thet ah find it scrumppious when in reality, ah do NOT. ah can say it is "interestin'" eff'n pressed t'give an opinion, an' leave it at thet.

Lyin' is bad, cuss it all t' tarnation. Mighty bad, cuss it all t' tarnation.

Yo' knows whut will happen eff'n ah tell them ah love th' dip?
They will make me a trimenjus batch of it fo' me t'take home fo' mah own eatin' pleasure. They will then brin' th' dip up when ah see them agin.

"Hey Kenzie! Is all of thet dip ah gave yo' gone? Will yo' be wantin' some mo'e? Yer one of th' fust varmints outside of mah fambly t'acshully like it. ah's so glad yo' does. I've told ev'ryone ah knows thet yo' love thet stuff...be speckin' it fo' yer birthday." 

 Mebbe ah can git mah fambly t'eat it, but ah will not be touchin' thet stuff.
So I've cuzd unnecessary wawk fo' th' kind sharer, I've lied, an' ah's likely a-gonna waste grub thet others might acshully eat.
{untrue sto'y, luckily}

T'other example of th' advahse effecks of fakin' it:

 Thar's someone who reckons themselves a talented reco'der player (when in reality they is not gif'ed at blowin' th' whistle). They feel purdy cornfident.
Figgers bein' th' operative wo'd, cuss it all t' tarnation.
Eff'n ah were t'give a false compliment, ah's purdy sho'nuff they'd be so nice as t'regale me wif a long varmintal corncert of so'ts.
Talk about majo' backfire.

Th' mo'al: be careful wif compliments. Be sinsyar.
Mean whut yo' say an' be willin' t'live wif the consequences....



BONUS! Fry mah hide!! Fry mah hide!
Th' oddness of th' English language (both is legal grammar-wise):

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

an' 

Thet thet is is thet thet is not is not is thet it it is


(there is a translation in the post below...)

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