Heart lessons...

Hey hey hey!

I feel like I have been on an internet diet. I miss blogging, but I've done my fair share of journaling. It actually makes me think about what I say before I post...and thus, I haven't posted much. Haha

Also, juggling two blogs is tricky.

I finally have a fast (mostly) connection, but it's 5 am in the states...and it's Saturday. So, you know, no one is really awake to chat.

I have been in Africa for three weeks now.
I am starting to miss things.
I miss my family.

SO MUCH.

I miss my friends, too.

I felt ever so slightly depressed when I logged on to facebook to see an empty wall, void of friendly posts.

I almost threw a pity party. But then I remembered that these people have lives too.

I have been adjusting to the culture.

This is an amazing opportunity, getting to live for a semester in another country. I am finding that it isn't so terribly different from the US, at least the people aren't. People are people, no matter the location.

There is much more poverty here. You see, poverty here means that you can't eat, not like in the USA, where poverty just means that you can't afford the latest and greatest gadget.

I've been working with little kids quite a bit. Little kids act universally the same. It's good to know. I haven't really been doing what I had expected to be doing (caring for babies and teaching) but I feel that I need to be trusting God and seeking out opportunities.

God has seriously been working on me. God has brought forward some very pertinent lessons as I've been here.
My devotional book seems to know what I need to be reading…

One evening as I was about to drift off, I read a bit.
Here's what I gleaned:

The world is a very needy place.

I don't need to go there for sustenance.

I should instead go to GOD to supply my needs.

It's terrible to think that I would use service opportunities to 'sustain' myself, but it's a place that I could easily fall.

I think of the story of Mary, Martha, and Jesus in Luke 10.
In sum-up: Jesus was visiting Mary and Martha. Martha was bustling about, preparing everything, and being an overall good hostess. Mary, her sister, was merely sitting and listening to what Jesus had to say.
Martha gets annoyed.
In a most immature fashion, she asks Jesus if He thinks Mary should be helping too:
"Lord don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work all by myself? Tell her to help me!"
Jesus replies:
"Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken from her."

Mary was all into service, but her heart was not in the right place.

It matters not so much the quantity of good deeds done for God as it does the quality of things done for Him.

It shouldn't matter if I have 10 ministries I'm participating in or just 1.

The important thing is to focus solely on Christ, and the service just springs up out of one's devotion to Him.

I was dwelling on this and then that Sunday morning, the preacher spoke for a bit on that very same passage.

I love when that happens!

He brought up Mary later anointing Jesus' feet and how she valued Christ above all else. That is easy to sing or say, but when you are faced with sacrificing a year's worth of wages from Him, well,

...things just got real.

I think it would be easy to get so wrapped up in service, that I miss the whole point of service.

It isn't about the volume of tasks I accomplish, it isn't about how great I look, it's about just being in God's presence and listening to Him for guidance. If there are tasks to be done, I will gladly do them, but I don't have to bustle bustle and rush rush and stress out and lose focus.

I must keep in mind that God doesn't need us to accomplish His will.

Rather, He grants us opportunity. He wants us to focus on Him, like Mary did.This lesson has been reverberating in my mind.

I want to choose what is better, and I know that it will not be taken from me.