Friday, December 13, 2013


I've not blogged blogged in a while, which saddens me. I wish I could better articulate my experiences, thoughts, and emotions.

But I have a difficult time of it; I have been occupying my mind with other things. Many of them are dull but necessary -- general education courses, ugh. 
Sadly, my brain can only handle so much before it feels saturated with information. When this happens, I want nothing more than to do something mindless (what I am doing right now is veritably mindless. Basically a train of thought without completion...)

 Part of me wishes for the days when I had seemingly endless time to think; then again, when I had room to think, I didn't have the ability to act upon my conclusions. An education will open so many doors.  

However, I enjoy thinking when I can; just having time to sit and ponder. I like marveling at the complexity of the world, the intricacies of life, the WHY.

I've been told I think too much. Is that possible?

Reading is something I love and haven't had much time for. Over thanksgiving break, I read 4 novels over the course of the 3 day break. I hadn't read for fun in ages; I found once I started, I was starving for the written word.

Also, I used to think I was one of the people who was good in the spotlight, who liked attention. I do, but not in the extrovert way. I'm "shy" and I don't understand it.

While I'm good in small groups, I am terrible in front of "crowds". Every time I've been put in front of a group of over 50 people, the floor becomes INCREDIBLY FASCINATING, my knees shake, and my speech increases speed. 

This is something I must overcome.

I've ben realizing I like to observe. I like to be the one behind the camera, the one who gives perspective in my own introverted way. 

Is this an excuse for not participating? 

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