an encounter with crying

It is Saturday, and I have been officially orientated as a staff member at New Life Camp. 
This week has been...intense. I feel like I have grown and stretched myself over the past week.


It has been a fun week, and I have gotten an excellent ab workout from laughing so much. 


Here's an interesting incident: yesterday, I cried. 


You should know that I'm not much of a crier....well, I'm an average crier, whatever that means, but what I'm saying is that I don't usually cry in front of people like I did yesterday. 


I cried because I understood. This sounds weird, I know, but stay with me. 


Yesterday, after reviewing policies and procedures with the staff at camp, we all went into the gym. The full-time workers were spread out around the gym. They all had basins full of soapy water. Each staff was holding a towel. 
It was a surprise event.


Then, Mr. Greg (the executive director of camp) told us that the full time staff were going to be washing our feet. 


Oh snap. 


My instant reaction was "there is no way I am letting those people touch my gross feet." 


The camp I'm at is dusty, and I was wearing sandals all day yesterday. I don't even like touching my feet when they're like that. 


We all turned to John 13 and read: 

Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.
 He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?”
  Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” “No,” said Peter, “you shall never wash my feet.”
   Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.” “Then, Lord,” Simon Peter replied, “not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!”
 Jesus answered, “Those who have had a bath need only to wash their feet; their whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you.” For he knew who was going to betray him, and that was why he said not every one was clean.
  When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them.  “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am.  Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet.  I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them."

One by one, the summer staff went to different full time staff members. The full time staff gently cleaned their feet and prayed for the staff member. 

I was not jumping up first.

I waited. 

I really did not want my feet washed by someone. I really didn't want them to touch my feet. 

I totally identified with Simon Peter at that point. 

“No,” said Peter, “you shall never wash my feet.”

I wanted to say, "Please, just don't wash my feet. I don't mind the praying thing, but foot washing is just too much." 

I had a big inner struggle. 

My pride verses humility. 

It doesn't seem like it would be a hard thing to let someone wash your feet. 

But it is. 

Oh man, it is. 

I prayed hard that God would give me the strength to let someone touch my dirty, gross feet. 

Finally, I felt like I had to go and do that thing. I took a deep breath, and walked over to Nathaniel (one of the full-time staff).  

As he gently washed my feet, tears welled up. This guy was demonstrating true humility. 

I got a glimpse of the great thing that Christ did for Peter. I was totally in Peter's place at that moment.

   Now, there are differences, obviously, but I was able to see what servant leadership looks like. 

After Nathaniel had prayed for me, I grabbed my Bible and started rereading John 13. Having that visual of foot washing was just what I needed.

I read Philippians 2:

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
 Who, being in very nature God,
   did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
 rather, he made himself nothing
   by taking the very nature of a servant,
   being made in human likeness.
 And being found in appearance as a man,
   he humbled himself
   by becoming obedient to death—
      even death on a cross!

The whole experience illuminated what Jesus did for me and you.
The foot washing was just the tip of the iceburg for him.
So, I cried.

I cried because I was humbled. 

I cried because I had seen another view of what Jesus had done. 

I cried because I better understood servitude. 

I cried because my heart was touched. 

It was a cool thing.