I'm a valentine grinch.

Valentine's Day is past.

**DISCLAIMER: this is a rant/realization**

I am finding balance in my emotions concerning that day.

This year, I saw my own hypocrisy in action. I saw how silly it was to be a cynic.

Admittedly, I can easily be cynical. It's a blessing and a curse, and I know I should be more prone to see the good in others.

The most annoying people during valentines are the people who whine about how corporate and stupid Valentines is. I was kinda one of those people.


But then I began to realize: despite it being a "hallmark holiday" and "mainstream" (yep, I'm gonna admit that mainstream things don't hold much weight for me), it's a perfect excuse to go above and beyond in saying to someone, "hey, you mean a lot to me."
It doesn't even have to be a huge effort. It can take all of 5 minutes to write a note.

You don't even have to have a romantic "valentine". You can still do something sweet for someone else.
I realized that if I think v-day is dumb, I shouldn't whine about it to others and I shouldn't try to ruin their fun.
Why turn down a day to celebrate love?

Next year, I shan't complain so loudly or audibly about the dumb corporations trying to dictate what and when I show love to someone.

...I still think that heart shaped balloons with feathers are horribly tacky, as are giant stuffed bears holding hearts, and those faux-roses that light up.

I can do without this

or this

ESPECIALLY NOT THIS. Balloon+ a random couple, or another picture... either way, it's bizarre.

...but that's personal preference.

Valentine's is a cultural tradition.

And honestly, deep down, I do enjoy it.

I love the flowers and the chocolates and the feeling of knowing I'm loved.


Also, right now, I'm so into bands that look like wandering vagrants.


Of Monsters and Men
Avett Brothers
Mumford and Sons
Imagine Dragons
Mat Kearney
....what gives?

thought closet

I do wish thoughts could be more neatly organized. You see, I have a great many things swirling around my mind. I suppose it's better than the alternative...

During school, all of my ponderings get pushed back into an imaginary closet.

I must focus on subjects that somewhat/mildly/wildly interest me, and there's not a great deal of time for daydreaming.


Can you remember when you were younger, say 6 or 7 years old...

trying to clean your room because your mother told you to,

and you stuff everything on the floor into your closet?

(Okay, maybe you didn't do that. 

I wasn't really allowed to do that, but it didn't stop me from trying.)

I would end up pushing and leaning against the closet door, willing all of the miscellaneous items to squeeze in, waiting for that magical click of the latch securing.

Stepping away from the closet with a happy sigh, I saw another thing that I needed to stuff into the closet.

...because putting it back where it belongs is just silly. 

So, I made the error of reopening the closet door.

A pile of stuff flopped out. A horrid mess.

At that point, one of my parents would peek in to check my cleaning progress and tell me to clean up the right way. In a way that allows me to find my favorite toys when I would want them and allows for me to have clothing to wear.

Silly me.

Anyways, that's the current status of my thoughts.
I've squished them all together in an imaginary thought closet, and voila!

I'm all good, or so I think.

Until that figurative door pops open for whatever reason and I'm filled yet again with ideas and questions, in a greater volume and even more jumbled up than before.

It's dreadful.

I may have to become a semi-regular blogger again, just to get all of that thinking-ness out of my system.
Or blogging might make it worse.
I'm not quite sure.

Anywho, the current state of affairs is that I should be sleeping/reviewing notes for tomorrow but instead, I'm sitting and pondering a great many things, and, of course, typing about thinking about a great many things.

I'll leave you with a few quotes about love from a few of my favorite authors

(since it is valentine's day, officially.)

 “Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.” 
― Lemony Snicket, Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid
“You don't love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.” 
― Oscar Wilde

“Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and a richness to life that nothing else can bring.” 
― Oscar Wilde

“Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes-none knows whence-and cannot explain itself.” 
― Mark Twain

“There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.” 
― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

“In love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love them, for instance, you must be absolutely certain that they have replied "I love you back" and not "I love your back" before you continue the conversation.” 
― Lemony Snicket